tuBBymAN
01-26-2004, 12:31 AM
Well i noticed the forums are flagging lately so i thought i would post this that io recieved in an e-mail coz it made me chuckle:
1. People who point at their wrist while
asking for the time....I know where my
watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where
the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their
arse to search the entire room for the
TV remote because they refuse to walk to
the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to
have your cake and eat it too".
F*cking right
What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the
last place you look".
Of course it is.
Why the f*ck would you keep looking after
you've found it?
Do people do this?
Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film
"did you see that?".
No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the
cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".
Didn't really give me a choice there,
did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
Which is it?
If it's new,then there has never been
anything before it.
If it's an improvement,then there must have
been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short".
What the f*ck??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone
ever f*cking does!!
What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus
and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here,
Kn*bhead?
10. People who say things like
'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
So what did they used to be? ears,
Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and
someone asks 'Is that nice?'
No it's really revolting - I always eat
stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going
to the toilet.
Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't
understand you unless you insert the 'Mc'
before the item you are ordering.....
It's has to be a McChicken Burger,
just a Chicken Burger get blank looks.
Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your
McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
14. When you involved in a accident and
someone asks 'are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks,
I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.
1. People who point at their wrist while
asking for the time....I know where my
watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where
the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their
arse to search the entire room for the
TV remote because they refuse to walk to
the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to
have your cake and eat it too".
F*cking right
What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the
last place you look".
Of course it is.
Why the f*ck would you keep looking after
you've found it?
Do people do this?
Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film
"did you see that?".
No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the
cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".
Didn't really give me a choice there,
did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
Which is it?
If it's new,then there has never been
anything before it.
If it's an improvement,then there must have
been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short".
What the f*ck??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone
ever f*cking does!!
What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus
and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here,
Kn*bhead?
10. People who say things like
'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
So what did they used to be? ears,
Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and
someone asks 'Is that nice?'
No it's really revolting - I always eat
stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going
to the toilet.
Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't
understand you unless you insert the 'Mc'
before the item you are ordering.....
It's has to be a McChicken Burger,
just a Chicken Burger get blank looks.
Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your
McEyes you f*cking McTosser.
14. When you involved in a accident and
someone asks 'are you alright?'
Yes fine thanks,
I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.