Student Survival - How to boil an egg

[Jynx]

Hey there all you students!! Do you like food, of course you do, but what do you like more than food?? MONEY!! Thats right. I am often asked "James, what is the cheapest, tastiest, quickest, easiest thing i can have for dinner?". Well, that is a simple question, one that I cba to answer, so to make it more interesting I added one more factor. So what is the cheapest, easiest, tastiest, quickest thing i can have for dinner when I don't have a working hob!?

Well some of the quicker ones of you out there may have come up with cupa-soups or similar food in a packet but they all cost in excess of ?0.50!!!! Outrageous, no. The answer is a boiled egg and soldiers. Lets get the important stuff out the way first, cost. Egg(Sainsburys Economy) = ?0.08 and bread(Sainsburys Economy) < ?0.01 per slice. So as you can see your onto a winner there. Wait, I hear you cry "You need a hob to boil the water", well, your wrong. The answer is a kettle. Below find detailed instructions of how to cook boiled egg and soldiers with a normal, not modified, household kettle.

Phase 1

Fill kettle with at least 15cm of water.

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Phase 2

Start kettle boiling.

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Phase 3

Select egg for tonights dinner.

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Phase 4

Find a suitable nonmetallic implement(safety first) to hold egg.

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Phase 5

Cut slice of bread into soldiers and put on plate, decoratively. Please note, novelty egg cup not essential.

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[Jynx]

Phase 6

By now the kettle should be boiled, using the implement place egg in kettle and shut lid.

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Phase 7

After 2 minutes have passed open lid and remove egg with the implement.

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Phase 8

Re-boil the kettle and then repeat phases 6 and 7 again.


Phase 9

Remove egg and place in egg cup.

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Phase 10

Remove top of egg with small spoon.

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Phase 11

Thats it, thats the first meal you have cooked in you kettle. Enjoy the fruits of your labour :)

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Until next time I bid you fair well and enjoy your eggs :)

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All photos taken with a camera-phone courtesy of Jynx's house mate. No eggs we harmed in the marking of this FAQ(apart from the one that got eaten).

[SlyDave]

LOL :)

Nice to see you spending your time wisely at uni then.

And on next weeks show? :p

[addz]

lol! that is great mate, i dunno why ive never thought of that!

[BirdofPrey]

Yeah thats a nutritious meal as well!

[putty_thing]

http://www.thebiggame.org/crew/jynx/forum/Picture26.jpg

caption competition? :D

[BirdofPrey]

"Our next lot a plastic spoon used by the one and only Jynx, when he cooked an egg in a kettle"

[tuBBymAN]

hehe omg!!! that is possibly the most interesting student related item i have ever read!!! my hat is off to you young sir!

/me takes off hat!

As for the caption

"is this your spoon? I found it on my bed what are u trying to tell me?"

maybe i'll work on a better caption!!

edit: could be a LAN classic that one!!!

[Blackstar]

First you must realise that there is no sp...oh no crap wait, there is, and its a beaut!!

[SlyDave]

First you must realise that there is no sp...oh no crap wait, there is, and its a beaut!!
ahhh, I was gonna say that :(

"Thats right! This super dooper plastic spoon is yours for only 99.95! YES! 99.95 CrapTV brings you this once in a lifetime speical for only 99.95! plus postage and packaging, subject to avalibility, terms apply"

Crap TV! Spoon! Buy it!

[Lil_Miss_Attitude]

Thats really clever I didnt even know you could do that and Im a mum! Sainsburys is really expensive though, you should try Safeways, Asda or Lidl that wld be evn cheaper.

[Drazhar]

">>>THE DANGERS OF PASSING OUT AT STUDENT FLAT PARTIES SPECIAL<<<

As you can see from this shocking picture nobody is safe from anal-intrusion tools once unconcious at a student flat party. Jynx, 19, shows off the implement that was forcable inserted into his rectum at his own flat party. Normally a simple kitchen tool turned into a implement of torture.

Beware passing out at flat parties, you may wake up very uncomfortably."

[Jynx]

Drazar has gota be in the lead atm ROFL.

[tuBBymAN]

i did think of doing an anal intrusion one but for some reason my sense of decentcy kicked in and i didn't but still very funny

[BirdofPrey]

Draz u must ave strangeeee parties!

[addz]

"Jynx wonders why he ever starting reading the "A cheap way to make super glue" book."

[BlackDemon]

Caption: "Maa Spoon ees Too Biig."

(hint: this is hella funny if you have seen certain Don Herzefeld animation videos that are floating around. If you haven't then get them off me at tBG cos they seriously are f*cking funny!!)

[BirdofPrey]

Caption: "Maa Spoon ees Too Biig." Lol That rules!

Now imagine how many eggs we could cook for brekkie in tbg tea urn!

[SlyDave]

Caption: "Maa Spoon ees Too Biig."
Roflmao, I forgot about this! ahh, the images xD

[tuBBymAN]

Now imagine how many eggs we could cook for brekkie in tbg tea urn!

No! imagine all the eggy farts!!!

[SlyDave]

No! imagine all the eggy farts!!!
/me brings a gas mask and rations to tBG12

[BlackDemon]

Screw the gas mask and rations, let's get a ciggy lighter and perform some pyro stunts!!

[Drazhar]

Posted by BirdofPrey - 1 Day Ago at 03:54 PM
Draz u must ave strangeeee parties!

Lol, nah, your's arn't strange enough :p

Actually...the whole anal-intrusion hasn't actually happened to me...yet...but people have convincned me to climb ontop of a bus stop and do singing in the rain...naked, and a whole load of other hugely outrageous stunts which i'm sure i will be discussing with the lot of you at tBG :D

[BlackDemon]

I'm not sure I want to discuss naked men at the LAN thanks. Talk to Gringo, he might be interested ;)

[tuBBymAN]

singing on a bus stop? man thats weird! We stole a 10ft Wilts & Dorset bus stop one night after drunkenly pulling it out of the ground! To get rid of it we left it at a bus stop near our house one night and it mysteriously went!!

[Blackstar]

bus stop :) hehe

We tried to get a cone on the top of a statue of a man on a horse, but the police turned up so we had to leg it :)

[BirdofPrey]

We have orange flashy lights from pompeys never ending roadworks, we only ave 1 at a time thou, its kept on perminantly and when it runs out its time for another flat party and a trip to swap it for a working one!

[tuBBymAN]

the classic one is stealing the sign with the name of the road u live on! We tried it but its like welded on and all we did is make the pole lean at like 45 degrees but i'm sure we will manage it

[BirdofPrey]

the classic one is stealing the sign with the name of the road u live on! We tried it but its like welded on and all we did is make the pole lean at like 45 degrees but i'm sure we will manage it
Thast what angle grinders are for!

lol Imagine tubbyman with an angle grinder!

[SlyDave]

lol Imagine tubbyman with an angle grinder!
Imagine a drunk tubbyman with an angle grinder!

[tuBBymAN]

Imagine a drunk tubbyman with an angle grinder!

thats the key phrase drunk and where would i get an angle grinder from when i'm drunk not easy to get hold of u know! plus just opposite the end of our road is winton police station!

[Jynx]

I seroiusly dont think Bournemouth could handle it.

[tuBBymAN]

I seroiusly dont think Bournemouth could handle it.

i'm not sure i can either

[Gringo]

plus just opposite the end of our road is winton police station!

surely thats the point, man? They would never see you comming!

[Jynx]

Where the hell did that quote come from?

[tuBBymAN]

Where the hell did that quote come from?

good question!!!

/me inputs that into the randomness calculater and it comes out a fat 10!!

[BirdofPrey]

thats the key phrase drunk and where would i get an angle grinder from when i'm drunk not easy to get hold of u know! plus just opposite the end of our road is winton police station!
There it is u blind people!

[Jynx]

oh yeah


great




sorry






grrrrr